Parenting

Nevermind

Presidential Election

First of all, I would like to say thank you God for placing me in a nation where I have the right, privilege and the responsibility to choose my own leaders in government.

Next, I would like to thank and commend all of those who went out and voted in this election.

Lastly, I would like to thank President-elect Obama for answering God's call to him to be a leader in a most unsettled time in our history as a nation. We are struggling in our economy, we are at war throughout the world and many believe the outlook to be dim. I think we have been given the tools to correct our downward spiral. We need now to pull those tools out of the work bench, dust them off and get to work rebuilding what we have so devastated in our clumsiness.

Now, I would like to ask God to lay His hands on all of us. I would petition Him to guide us, to hold us up, to assist us and to shower us with His love and blessings. Remember, WE the people, all of us have a new president. Not just the people who like Obama, not just the people who supported his campaign and not just those who voted for him. President-elect Obama is the leader of our whole nation. Let us support him and allow him to do the job we have hired him to do. When he does things we don't like, let's rebuke him with our voices not violence. Let's give him a warm welcome and assist him in being a success. Because when our president is successful, we as a nation become stronger.

Thank you for your support.

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart."-Wm. Wordsworth

My heart breathes are full of men. Sam and Darin are my beloved brothers. Sam and I are very close because there is only one year between us in age. We've been through a lot together. We were very young when our parents divorced. This made us pull together emotionally. As a result we can weather any storm, so long as we do it together. Darin is a different story. There are ten years between us. I was forced to grow up very quickly so I could help care for him. Mom worked at night and weekends. I loved him dearly, but resented him, too. I had to baby sit instead of dating, going to sporting events, even homecoming and prom were forfeit to him. I wasn't always nice to him. Now he's more like a son, in my mind, than a brother. I have three nephews, too.(no nieces) Kyle and Zane are Sam's. Zachery belongs to Darin. They are so special and wonderful. I love watching the older two play baseball. Many evenings and weekends are spent with them. I think I would sacrifice anything for them. They are the loves of my life and bright spots, too. What they want I try to give them. Dates have been cancelled for them. All my friends say I spoil them. My retort is "they are not spoiled, they are well loved." They give me kisses and hugs every time I see them. We shop, play and just hang out together. The most incredible thing about them is when they say " I love you." Every time they do that my heart shatters into a million points of light.

BIRTHDAY MEMORY

I love birthdays. They are monumental for me. Each year is a testament to the fact that I'm still here and have that much more knowledge.

Some of my birthdays have been fraught with worry. Like when I turned 25, 30 and 35. I don't know why, but it seemed like life was falling short of my dreams. Each one came and went with no husband and no children. Now I revel in that freedom. My love can be poured out on my nephews instead of progeny of my own.

One birthday that really stands out in my mind is my thirteenth. We were going to a cabin in the mountains with some family friends. We spent several days cooking and baking good things to eat. My mom had me bake a chocolate cake from scratch, and showed me how to make homemade chocolate icing for on it. Everyone else liked peanut butter icing, but chocolate is my favorite. We made macaroni salad, potato salad, cut up cheese and bologna cubes, cucumber slaw, cole slaw and pea salad. Then we baked a meatloaf and sliced it up for sandwiches on homemade bread. This was going to be a great weekend!

There was one huge problem though. No one said a single word about my birthday being on Saturday. I helped get our clothes together, along with towels and blankets. My youngest brother was only three, so we had to pack lots of extra stuff for him. When we loaded the truck I saw each bag, box and cooler. There were no presents for me. I didn't ask any questions. I just felt real sad and empty inside. No one had asked what I wanted either. We weren't allowed to ask for things.

When we left home on Friday, I just decided to think of the trip as my present. Then I got angry because everyone else was sharing my gift. It was beautiful at the cabin. There was a creek nearby that we played in. My birthday is May14th, so lots of new plant life was just peeping out for the new season.

After dinner on Saturday night Mom told me to get that cake I had made. I was so surprised when I took the foil off that pan. She had decorated it with colored icing Friday night after we kids went to sleep. It was very pretty with flowers and my name on it. There were gifts for me, too! I don't remember what they were any more, but I know they were things that I had seen in a little gift shop we had stopped at on the way up there. I knew better than to ask for anything, but that didn't stop me from looking at the cool stuff. I got a warm feeling when everyone told me how good my cake tasted. It was like I was giving a gift to them on my birthday.

That was a wonderful day. I won't ever forget it even though the gifts escape me yet. Surprise birthdays are the best!

WHY DO YOU WRITE?

The most important reason I write is to release some pent up beast who resides within me, and demands release through the written word.

I write to communicate feelings, thoughts and ideas. Writing often helps me relax. It gives me much of the same feeling as reading does. Much of what I write has meaning only for me. It is very personal. I can put early memories on paper to solidify and inspect them. Sometimes I start writing about one thing and it reminds me of others.

Sometimes writing is a catalyst for healing old emotional scars. Sometimes I tell stories about things I've done or places I've been so I can share this stuff with my family. My nephews really like this aspect of my writing. They like to hear about when their Dad and I were little. I think they compare what is happening in their lives with our stories. Their faces light up and their eyes get very big. Watching the expressions on their faces is a lot of fun. They, also, like to hear stories about when they were little. You know, stuff they were too young to remember.

I like writing poetry, too. I usually write in free verse, because there are no rules to follow. It is fun to rhyme though too. Usually my rhyming verse is more silly. Occasionally I use poetry to express an emotion or describe a scene. I like to describe family in verse, too.

My nephew, Zane, was published in a book of poetry this year. Now he says I need to get my work published. That, however, is very difficult to do.

But, I guess the biggest reason I write is because I like it. I get a strong feeling of accomplishment when I finish a piece. That is really awesome.

TRUE LOVE BURSTS FORTH

ZACHERY JAMES

-Little feet pounding out a cadence on the floor.

-Little arms reaching out with fingers tickling the air.

-"Aun Ro" the little voice joyfully resounds.

-Arms are flung wildly, then tightly around my neck.

-Big sloppy kisses planted firmly on my lips.

-Huge smile like a sunrise against a clear blue sky.

-"Hello, little man!" escapes from my lips like an erupting volcano.

-To be greeted in such a way, swells my heart 'til it almost bursts.

-Then for the very first time in his 2 1/2 years, he performs magic.

-"Love you" spews forth across his tiny vocal chords.

-The most incredible pain rips through my chest.

-I've found a little piece of heaven, God dropped him into my encircling arms.

-The reward for changing diapers, babysitting, picking out and making the most perfect clothes.

-This is how I want to greet Him when He calls me home.

A THOUGHT

Working pays the rent.

Writing satisfies the soul.

GOLDEN SLIPPERS

Some days I have to wear my golden slppers to remind me that I am His princess.

Other days I have to go without them to remind me that I am nothing without Him.

MY SWORD AND MY SHEILD

I have two very good, old and dear friends. They are, I think, supposed to reside on a bookshelf. My friends, however, never seem to make it home. They live like gypsies. Their covers and pages are worn and stained from the friction of my caresses. I keep threatening to replace them. Even my cats are jealous of them, as witnessed by the bite marks on them.

I met them in high school. They are fast approaching their thirties now. They have been ever faithful, fruitful and forthcoming with their combined knowledge. They are never petty, jealous or grudging. They wait patiently for me to pick them up and drag them along on all moves and every adventure. They clarify newly gained knowledge. They inspire higher elevations of creativity in my vocabulary and writing. They correct my bias toward incorrect spelling. They expand my communication borders. Like the edges of the universe expanding and mutating in a reflection of my growing soul.

Many people call my friends tools, like they are implements or utensils. To me they are lovely acquaintances, bosom friends, partners, companions and intimates. I come to them with privation or need. They dole out insight resembling alms for my diction.

My compatriots names are Dictionary and Thesaurus. They are and always have been requisite in my life. The striations of diversity within their pages are poetic to my optical and auditory nerves. They bring color and life to what I read, hear and say.

Mr. Webster and Mr. Roget, I thank you and applaud you. You have brought insight and multifariousness to my utterances and my scribble. You have armed and guarded me against ignorance, repetition and error in both oral and printed communication.

To my friends: I pray your binding never fails and your ink never fades. You are essential components of my referential arsenal. Without you my poetry is flat, my speech is stale and my writing would be illegible and dull. The depths of my appreciation, my devotion are fathomless. Your succor is never ending. Your patience in correcting me is merciful and incessant. I could live without you, but I would be mournful, vapid and imprecise for the loss of your companionship.

MY BOYS

-Look, aren't they pretty? (Yes, I know that they are boys.)

-Listen to their giggles. It's like the tinkling of bells or chimes.

-Watch them. They are growing. They are playing. They are learning.

-Listen, hear their voices? They have life songs to say to us.

-Hold them. When they're sad, they're never to big for a hug.

-Enjoy them. They are gifts from God so we won't grow too old or lonely.

-Love them. They need us and we need them, too!